Day 16. Metal Therapy

 So last night, I went with my buddy Jon to the Five Finger Death Punch show. Which is also why I'm posting it this morning as opposed to last night. I wan't sure if I was going to go to the show after Robin died. That took a lot of internal struggle for me to decide what I was going to do. In the end, i obviously decided to go, and I'm glad I did.

 Robin always liked concerts, and whenever I commented that there was a band I liked coming by, she always told me to get tickets. I wish we had gone to more concerts together. So I decided to go to the concert. I don't think that not doing things because of grief helps us move through it. I think it's ok to avoid certain things that might cause you too much grief to enjoy, or you might ruin it for everyone.

 I feel we all get to a point where you have to make the choice to actively live again. Going back to work, doing those things you enjoy doing. Doing those things you enjoyed together. Don't let grief become your excuse not to live.

 I missed Robin during the show, I know she would have thought it was too loud anyway, but I still missed her being there. It was an awesome show, and I'm glad I went.

Day 10. Day to day

 Today was the first day I went back to my martial arts class since Robin passed. I think that was a good healing time for me. It was basically the first "normal" I have had in a while. The part that I'm desperately trying to get used to is the fact that I don't have her here, physically, to tell about my day.

 That is going to be the big adjustment. Robin and I were one of those couples that did everything together. Everything. Shopping, reading, gaming. I can only think of a handful of times we didn't go to bed at the same time, and a lot of that was work. I think we went to bed angry twice.

 That isn't to say we never fought. He had our rough times, several years of them in fact. The difference was, we pulled it together, grew up and made everything work. We remembered why we got married in the first place. I can truthfully say we loved each other to the end.

 All in all, today was a better day. The kids and I are adjusting to living our life as it is now. It will be a day to day thing, but I believe we will get through it. We don't have a choice.

 I will mourn her for a long time, but I'll be strong, because I promised her I would.