I've been struggling with my writing a lot lately. As always, I have so many things I want to do, but rarely find myself doing them. Lately, when I sit down to write, I'm too spent to really try to get anything out.
What I have been doing, is living.
It took a while to get to that point again. Right now, we at Five Months, and I'm realizing many things are better. The kids and I are getting to a spot I couldn't have concieved of a few months ago.
Being ready for the future. I've been looking at houses now. It's kind of exciting, and liberating, in a way. Your old dreams are taken from you, but you still have new ones. Beginning to realize those new dreams are a welcome feeling. Meg is still trying to get me to buy a house close to some of her friends. We'll see.
It's good starting to feel life happening again. When it happens, you realize how dead inside you'd become. The difference between living and existing are pretty incredible.
You get to the point where you realize life is still going on, and your story is still being written. We still never know the ending till we get there.
Some plot twists are harder to deal with then others, but we can still hope for a happy ending. I know I am.
So I'm living. I'm putting the pen to paper and writing the next book in the series. I still don't know where it will take us, but I'm excited for my tomorrows for the first time in a while. I'm excited to see what the next page brings.
On another note, as far as this blog goes, the story has been written. I'll have a few more entries here, specifically after we spread her ashes, and after the celebration of life. Those are technically the afterword to look at it in a literary manner.
I'm going to focus on the story, the life that I'm writing now. So, if you want, feel free to follow it here.
I don't know where it will go, but I have hope. Either way, it's being written.
Nothing is Trivial.