No, it's not about shopping, though I heard there are some good outlets around Gettysburg.
I'm talking about stress outlets. I think I need to find some. I haven't really had a good workout since Morgan was born, and I think this is part of it. I need to get back out and run.
I have always had a love/hate relationship with running. It is mostly hate, and then after a while I start to love it. I always start out strong, then eventually stop running. The first time was when I tore my meniscus up in Monterey, and then was too young and hard charging to get it looked at till years later. Now, I think it's just because I'm not doing it.
I need to start again though, because I need to get my zen back. I have been teaching the kids Tang Soo Do (the style of Korean Martial Arts I got my black belt in), and I am really enjoying getting back to it. I do want to get Meg and I into some classes locally, I just don't know that many of the local Martial Arts people out here these days.
I think over all I just need an outlet. I need to get back to being the healthy, balanced husband and father again. It's hard for me to be the strong one when I find myself getting wrapped around the axle about everything.
My doctor gave me an anti-depressant, but I haven't started it yet. Kinda worried about the side effects, and I'm also waiting till Pete and Leigh are done visiting. The label says avoid alcohol. So, I believe it.
I also don't want priapism. Or excessive yawning for that matter.
We'll see how it goes.
I really think this last round of chemo was the worst one Robin has had. We think it was the combo of two major surgeries back to back combined with the giant piles of cellular destruction. Only four more rounds yet. At least that is an end in sight, and after that the radiation.
So we just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and we go.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Chemo Strikes Back...!
So Robin started her chemo again today, and I think it has been harder on her than any other round so far. She did wake up in time to see the kids off to bed, and we watched Being Human, so she at least had a little bit of a relaxing evening. I just hate watching her go through this.
That is the hardest thing. I know this is part of the healing path, but it sucks.
I think it is the feeling of powerlessness, the fact I can't make it any better. All I can do is try to be strong for her.
Two weeks from now we start the Taxol...
That is the hardest thing. I know this is part of the healing path, but it sucks.
I think it is the feeling of powerlessness, the fact I can't make it any better. All I can do is try to be strong for her.
Two weeks from now we start the Taxol...
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Family Time
Well, we just got back from Dunkin Donuts. Seems like whenever my brother and his family get back in town, we meet up with them for donuts and coffee. Good times, good times!
It always amazes me that even when you haven't seen each other in a while, when you are back together again, it seems like no time has passed. So we are all really, really happy. Now to pack as much as we can in the time they are up.
Robin is starting her chemo up again tomorrow, but at least now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It sucks starting it again, but at least we know there is an end point.
I should probably start running again too. I just need to get out and do it. It always makes me feel better after, and it is a good way to sort life out. I just haven't had the motivation lately. I will though.
But, for the next two weeks, we get to focus on having my brother and his family back in town, which is awesome.
It always amazes me that even when you haven't seen each other in a while, when you are back together again, it seems like no time has passed. So we are all really, really happy. Now to pack as much as we can in the time they are up.
Robin is starting her chemo up again tomorrow, but at least now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It sucks starting it again, but at least we know there is an end point.
I should probably start running again too. I just need to get out and do it. It always makes me feel better after, and it is a good way to sort life out. I just haven't had the motivation lately. I will though.
But, for the next two weeks, we get to focus on having my brother and his family back in town, which is awesome.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Good news, for once.
Well today, Robin got the staples out from her hysterectomy, and got the Pathology results from everything, and it was clear. So we are thankful for that one.
Now, we just have to get geared up for starting chemo up again on Monday.
That is gonna be hard. Watching Robin go through it all the first time was rough. Since her surgeries, she has had time to recover, and her hair has started to grow back a nice champagne blonde.
Now, we have to go through it all over again for another 10 weeks, and 6 weeks of radiation treatments.
That's the road ahead of us now. Might as well get a good book to read.
11/22/63: A Novel
Now, we just have to get geared up for starting chemo up again on Monday.
That is gonna be hard. Watching Robin go through it all the first time was rough. Since her surgeries, she has had time to recover, and her hair has started to grow back a nice champagne blonde.
Now, we have to go through it all over again for another 10 weeks, and 6 weeks of radiation treatments.
That's the road ahead of us now. Might as well get a good book to read.
11/22/63: A Novel
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Healing or Cuts and Staples
From some of the research I have done, Robin's surgery went as well as we could have hoped; for a surgery that was messed up, at least.
The Doctor said it was one of those freak things, that if he had tried to do it on purpose, would never have happened. But on way or another the scope ended up in her bowel. But, the big thing is that they new it was punctured, so they were able to repair it immediately.
It seems to be that the real danger with bowel perforations is when they don't know it happened, like when one of the tools nicks it. Then you go home, and end up septic.
Knowing this, we are counting out blessings. It doesn't make the pain go away, but it makes us feel better about it. (I'd have to verify that with Robin though, she seems to not be feeling much better about it at all, which is understandable)
So she is healing up, and heading towards finishing her chemo. It sucks, but there is no way around it.
Someday, we will make progress and come up with a less barbaric way to treat cancer, but we aren't there yet. So, it never hurts to support the groups doing the research.
In other news, my Brother got back from Iraq, which is awesome, and now he and his family are having some quality time.
Robin and I both got new tattoos, which is also awesome, so now I will have to start a savings fund for our next work.
I need to get back to running, and working on my other writings.
The Doctor said it was one of those freak things, that if he had tried to do it on purpose, would never have happened. But on way or another the scope ended up in her bowel. But, the big thing is that they new it was punctured, so they were able to repair it immediately.
It seems to be that the real danger with bowel perforations is when they don't know it happened, like when one of the tools nicks it. Then you go home, and end up septic.
Knowing this, we are counting out blessings. It doesn't make the pain go away, but it makes us feel better about it. (I'd have to verify that with Robin though, she seems to not be feeling much better about it at all, which is understandable)
So she is healing up, and heading towards finishing her chemo. It sucks, but there is no way around it.
Someday, we will make progress and come up with a less barbaric way to treat cancer, but we aren't there yet. So, it never hurts to support the groups doing the research.
In other news, my Brother got back from Iraq, which is awesome, and now he and his family are having some quality time.
Robin and I both got new tattoos, which is also awesome, so now I will have to start a savings fund for our next work.
I need to get back to running, and working on my other writings.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Another One Down
I have to apologize for continuously saying I am going to update this more, but then a week or two elapses without anything new. So, no promises this time. But at least it will be a play by play as things happen.
Today, Robin did get her hysterectomy, which was good; but they punctured her small intestine, which is bad. They fixed it, which was good; but now she is in a lot more pain than anticipated, which is bad. She is in a really nice unit, which is good; but now she won't be home for a few days longer, which is bad.
So there it is, an object lesson of having to take the good with the bad. Really, there is no way around it. When things are bad, there is good hiding in it somewhere; conversely, when things are good, there is probably something else at work.
The hysterectomy was a less than ideal outcome, like all the rest of this; but the result of it will be good in the end. It will allow us to get past this.
So, in the end, we just take the good with the bad. Life goes on day to day. We work, take care of our families, life keeps going on. We just have to keep going with it.
Today, Robin did get her hysterectomy, which was good; but they punctured her small intestine, which is bad. They fixed it, which was good; but now she is in a lot more pain than anticipated, which is bad. She is in a really nice unit, which is good; but now she won't be home for a few days longer, which is bad.
So there it is, an object lesson of having to take the good with the bad. Really, there is no way around it. When things are bad, there is good hiding in it somewhere; conversely, when things are good, there is probably something else at work.
The hysterectomy was a less than ideal outcome, like all the rest of this; but the result of it will be good in the end. It will allow us to get past this.
So, in the end, we just take the good with the bad. Life goes on day to day. We work, take care of our families, life keeps going on. We just have to keep going with it.
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