Sunday, October 2, 2011

One Foot, then the Next.

"A journey of One Thousand Miles begins with a single step."
                                                                                            -Lao Tzu

 When this all started, it was one of those things we couldn't see past. For all intents and purposes, I couldn't see anything past Thanksgiving of last year, the future just wasn't registering, but yet, here we are.

 In another month and change, it will be a year since Robin was diagnosed. What a year it has been. I had times in my life when I thought life was hard. Parris Island, being a freshly married PFC with no money and a kid on the way, Afghanistan, transitioning out of the Marine Corps. So much in our day to day lives is a struggle, but nothing prepared us for this one. You just expect life to end, in a way, shortly afterwards.

Except it doesn't.

Kids still have needs, bills need to be paid, work needs to be done. Then you have all of the things that you couldn't have thought of having to do: Dispensing meds, dealing with Chemo sickness, trying to help your loved one through the pain. For me, the last one is the worst. It's not something you can actually do anything for. You can only give someone so many narcotics. All you can do is hold them until they fall asleep again.

 It's like trying to fight an enemy made of fog. When it comes down to it, there is no fight. There is nothing you can do to make it better sometimes. Sometimes all you can do is wait for it to blow over, then help them up again.

Like I've said so many times before during this, all you can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep going. You have to be strong and push them, pull them, carry them through it.

It is a long road, but they are all single steps.

P.S. I just looked at the stats, and I think the blog has gone completely international. At least to one or two people on each continent. That makes me happy. Cancer doesn't care about color, religion, age, sex or any of that. If someone gets hope, or at least some understanding from reading my words, knowing they aren't alone, then I have done something.

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