Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Day 20. Working through it, thoughts, etc.

 You might have noticed that I've been slowing down a little bit with this blog. I guess it's because I'm speeding up back in life now. I've been working on sorting through our room, sorting her clothes, and going through pictures and stuff.

 I've started to feel that writing this blog daily is causing me to dwell on things more. So, I think I'll move to a freer updating schedule on this, and get back to updating my other blog. If I could find a way to condense everything into one blog, that would probably solve the problem.

 I have a hard time not compartmentalizing things.

 I think it's the natural evolution of things. I am moving through my grief. Not that you ever move through it completely. It's open ended and there is no time frame. You learn how to live with it. Live in spite of it. It's a part of you, but instead of indulging it, you let the flare ups pass like smoke in a breeze.

 Like the rest of life, it is a dynamic process. It changes.

 So, I'm not sure where the road heads, but I have to look forward. I'll still always look back to remember, but the way lies ahead.


  1. I don't know you personally Marine, but I'm praying God gives you and your family whatever you need to work through the healing process right now. (hugs) Semper Fi

  2. Dearest Aron:
    I am from the Bloomsburg area - moved to New Jersey in 1987 - and I must tell you that IF your wife was treated at Geisinger I would have begged you to take her to another hospital...why - here are the brief reasons - and I am 59 years old so I have a great memory of many mis diagnosis's at Geisinger - I always said that IF God forbid I got cancer I would NOT go to Geisinger....1. My Aunt back in 1990 had had stomach problems for 2 years(she was only in her 60's) - first theygave the ususal Pepto Bismol, acid reflux pills and the short version as she still had pains they opened up her stomach and found she had stomach cancer(y werent tests done waaay long before that) and they close her up she died 3 weeks later in 1992 on MOther's day. 2. Aclassmate mate of mine who is a teach at Bloom Memorial (maybe he has retired since) his mother had breast cancer years ago-Idon't remember the year - same scenerio - put her off for xrays a diagnosis and she dies in her 40's of breast cancer due to the long wait. 3. The former owner of the Mexican Restaurant on Rt 11 Donnie Fought ( I forget the year) his wife was 8 months pregnant and she went to her Geisinger cause she didn't feel the baby move..he sent her home...saying o it was "ok"..well it wasn't baby was desceased - and maybe if the Dr. had done tests baby could have been saved - Geisinger had to pay a hefty wrongful death suit in that case - it was in the Bloom papers - again I forget the year. 4. Another classmate of mine who was 3 years younger and we chat on Face Book said her mom died at a very young age (from Geisinger alos) from Breast Cancer - she thinks her mom would have lived had Geisinger diagnosed her properly.....These are ll facts - I did moved to New England in the early 70's as a young housewife who followed her husband for a job transfer so I would hear these tragedys by mail..then moved back to Bloom in divorced - moved to New Jersey (2 hours from Bloom) in 1987 for a better job - but I always kept in touch (and we have a class reunion every 5 years) with my point is I remember other "issues" that my relatives had(and my late father had 10 brother and sisters in that area - 5 still lving) that have had issues with Geisinger - I HATE GEISINGER.....I hate to say this after the fact - I feel so much pain for your loss and your childrens loss - if anyone you ever now has cancer - send them to NEw York or ANYWHERE but Geisinger..even my one aunt I just remembered she had back surgery many years ago (she is still alive - lives in Numedia - andthey did surgery and she had pain - turns out they left a small pair of scissors in her when they did her surgery that had to be removed...I could go on.....just have so much anger at doesnt' bring your precious wife back....but for others - Drs. making misdiagnosis - patients in that area go to Geisinger cause they dont' go anywhere else....I pray for you this Holiday season....I'm so sorry for our loss - and sooo angry at Geisinger.......Sandy Miller Jarrard -